[[ ___ + LOVE MAKES THE WORLD TURN ROUND& ROUND + __

Sunday, 21 June 2020

Decided to come back here after a LONG LONG hiatus!

I can hear all your screams and shouts already! :D Hehe

It's quite.. interesting

Recently I've been dreaming a lot about Nanyang

About going back to the school

and just roaming around talking to people

Probably a part of me really misses those days T.T

Then yesterday while praying I just remembered this blog

and started reading all the posts

I couldn't stop reading till 7am in the morning HAHA ;D

my heart was so warm just reading everything

About how we loved our teachers

how we loved each other

how we just laughed and hugged and cried together :')

I was so happy that my secondary school days were like that

and really thankful that many beautiful things

and many beautiful thoughts were recorded here

Loved how 16 year old Jermia

was someone who loved life

saw the good in everyone

and just lived the life the way she wanted

without thinking much about how others perceived her

9 years have passed.. and 9 years is a long long time

Recently we had a worship night

we sang to the song Glorified

and was tearing non stop while worshipping ;O

It was one of the first few Christian songs that I learnt

It is a song that I sang through many many seasons of my life

While worshipping it struck me that

seasons changed

and I have changed

The person who taught me this song has left

many things happened

and some people left

probably in the process

I got fearful of pouring my heart out

started to second guess

and entertain many "I'm not good enough" thoughts

But God has always remained the same throughout :')

And I decided that what was most precious about me

should continue to be part of me :)

So here is 25 year old Jermia (OMG SOUNDS OLD HALP)

According to my past blog posts

I'm supposed to be married at 长城

but nope it's not going to happen anytime soon HAHA xD

25 year old Jermia is now working

There are days (many days in fact :P)

when I would struggle to get out of bed

and dread what is ahead :X

But I'm going to decide to love life :)

I'm living amongst grown-ups (like me) now

Successful ambitious driven

Insecure prideful fearful

I'm going to decide to always see the best in people :)

I carry roles and responsibilities

And with these come expectations

I'm going to decide to be driven by love

and not by fear of not being good enough

Yup people, this is my quarter life crisis post

And from here on

I'm going to step into the best years of my life ;D!

P/S: Hello 16 year old Jermia

25 year old Jerms misses you so much :')

I'm not going to strive to become like you

I'm going to be even better ;)

Jermia hopped off at 00:06

Monday, 21 December 2015

Jermia hopped off at 18:37

Thursday, 10 September 2015

From the WP rally I've attended and various other WP rallies I've watched online, they attribute all positive changes in policies to themselves, and attack PAP for all the bad ones. More BTO flats? Because PAP is finally listening to the voice of the people. Train Breakdown? PAP sucks! What kind of logic is this. Apart from attacking and criticising, they have never proposed a truly viable and long-term alternative policy. Hopefully they realise that they have a part to play and responsibility to take as MPs for policy failures too. And what can we say about the true strength and capability of an opposition party, whose election rally mentions the ruling party's name more than its own? It doesn't have its own achievements to brag; When I attended WP's rally, there is no mention of legit reasons to vote for WP, other than the same old GE2011 tagline, "WP will be your voice". Sure being an alternative voice in parliament is important, but after 4 whole years, that's all you've got? Nothing new, nothing better to bring to the table? Most of the time was spent emotionally shouting for people not to vote for the PAP, rather than logically convincing voters of the reason why they should vote for WP. Why should we give them more seats in parliament when they have failed to prove their abilities with 7 seats? Why should we give them more seats and risk being disappointed again? These few seats, these 5 years, could be used to develop candidates of better potential, in preparation to take over the core leadership of the country in the future.

I read an article, in which the author asked his friends who are WP supporters the reasons why they vote for WP. After thinking for a long time, they could not answer why. In the end, they admitted that PAP candidates are more capable, but they just don't feel like voting for PAP (IS VOTING CHILD'S PLAY??? Hello! You are voting for my future also leh!), or they want a stronger opposition presence in parliament. But if the only thing you can practically contribute in the parliament is to be a whip, and offering diversity only in opinions and not in solutions, I think your present number of seats is enough, WP. We have enough talkers, we need more thinkers and doers.

Why are we taking good ministers and quality candidates away from parliament, in exchange for people who have just proven that they are only good scarecrows? Their mindsets and views are overly simplistic; Take for example Sylvia Lim's rally speech criticising the lack of hospital beds. Yes I agree that this is a pressing issue and must be addressed. However, her speech was purely a one-sided description of the situation (not like the ruling party doesn't know already), and she totally didn't propose solutions to these problems? 没鱼虾也好. If there are no elaborations, at least say what could be done? So that you don't let your audience be stuck with their own assumptions (and your subtle implications) that the government has been lax and refuses to build more hospitals? Building more hospitals is easy, but have you examined the situation as a whole to consider where are good quality doctors, nurses and healthcare professionals going to come from, especially when you are so against foreign talents and workers? Have you been on the ground and well-informed enough to know that the healthcare sector is already very tight in manpower? The demand for nurses has exceeded the supply, and clinics are lacking manpower. Or maybe you have chosen to ignore this fact just to criticise and appeal to voters?

It is always easier to curry favour from voters, than to present to them hard truths and work out the best solution from there.

What is even more appalling is a statement from Png Eng Huat, who is expected to be guaranteed a seat in parliament as a candidate standing for Hougang. He said that, if the government changes today, everything will still function normally, BECAUSE WE HAVE A GOOD CIVIL SERVICE.

So hello! People vote you into parliament to do what? Because according to what you said, civil service bao gao liao what? Have you taken your guaranteed seat for granted that you have forgotten that you have to work hard? Why not we vote more PAP candidates in so that YOU will work harder?

Honestly WP, I expected better from you.

Really hope that my fellow countrymen will vote rationally for the people they feel can make better use of the seats and time they have in parliament, and contribute more to Singapore to make it a better place. Do not vote for someone just because you feel that the person very 可怜; THIS IS NOT A SYMPATHY VOTE.

Jermia hopped off at 04:49

Saturday, 30 May 2015

Couldn't sleep cos too many thoughts were running through my mind, so I decided to run to My Father again. Was praying with a heavy heart, and a still small voice came. "Ask and it will be given..."

Ask and it will be given.

So I asked. At the end of my prayer, I listened to With Everything by Hillsong and realised that's what a faith-filled prayer is like. That's how my prayer just now should be like.

"Break down our pride
And all the walls we've built up inside
Our earthly crowns and all our desires
We lay at Your Feet

Let Hope rise
Darkness tremble in Your Holy Light"

Jermia hopped off at 08:52

Friday, 29 May 2015

Whee I'm finally back for a post after being on a hiatus for nearly one whole year! O.O

Many things have happened since 1 year ago... I became an NTU student, studying Accountancy and Business! :) I honestly wouldn't have seen myself studying in NTU, especially accountancy and/or business in university. I hated business and how cut-throat this subject seemed to me then. Even a few months after I finished taking my A levels, my only consideration was NUS medicine/pharmacy/political science etc. But after a few twists and turns, here I am :) I wouldn't say I love Accountancy and Business now. I didn't know why I'm in here, until perhaps a few weeks ago. I saw a vision and a purpose for being here, and a burden that was placed in my heart. Now I'm excited for what is to come :)

And then actually studying in NTU. I remember there was this week I had 3 project presentations and 2 tests to study for. Woah it was crazy. I was screaming and pulling my hair in my room HAHAHA. I think uni really stretched my capacity, and made me understand and believe more than ever the phrase 船到桥头自然直. I remember at the start of uni I would stress myself out with longlong to-do lists even before the weeks started. But throughout the week I realised that things weren't as bad and stressful as I had imagined. Yes I had tutorials, assignments and projects to do, but I still had time to hang out with my trench buddies and do the things I love in church. Even though I have more things on my plate now, my heart has never been more at peace. More than grateful for my on fire trench buddies and sisters that never fail to inspire me and lift my thoughts up to a more faith-filled level. Thank you for running this race together with me :) Let's do well and do good together!

Thankful to My Heavenly Father who has been there in my mountains and valleys. In church our pastors and leaders always tell us that Christianity is not a religion but a relationship. It's so so true :) I can talk to God anytime and anywhere about my joys and worries, in my room and even in my bus and MRT train rides. Thankful for Him for giving me strength and peace to last me through crazy days and weeks.

The past two weekends, Pastor How and Pastor Lia shared with us about the Fig Tree. In the Book of John, Chapter One, it tells of the story of a faithful worshipper called Nathanael who would spend time under the fig tree praying and spending time with God. I have experienced the Presence of God countless times in my life, both in services and during my quiet time. In crazy chiong times like the one I described above, I would listen to worship songs and they would bring me so much faith and strength to conquer everything. Each time His Presence would leave me feeling so loved, and through His still small voice would come words of wisdom, assurances, and challenges to grow. I love God's Presence, but Pastor Lia shared with us that while salvation is free, the price of God's presence is time. I realised that on days that I feel tired and discouraged, when I needed God's Presence the most, I didn't pay the price of time to just worship, pray and read his word. Now I'm challenged all over again to treasure His Presence even more with my time. It's amazing how sitting under the fig tree at the end of the day would leave you feeling refreshed and ready to start the next day :D

Last week's sermon by Pastor How was mindblowinggg! So challenged in my heart to always pray with faith and power. Still remember before I came to church, my prayers would go like this, "Dear Heavenly Father, please bless me with good results. Please let me get into Nanyang Girls' High School. Please...please...please..." Hahaha looking back, I was so faithless in God's love for me! I left my prayers to chances and probabilities that it would come to pass. But Pastor How shared with us that prayer is not begging God; It's not begging for God to change His mind and heart. It is meant to align our hearts and thoughts to His, because God is a good God.

And about the power of confession! Our leader shared with us during zone meeting about the power of confession. The first words that are ever spoken are not for communication, but for creation. The first words ever spoken are "Let there be Light". Woww! Our words have the ability to create and build!

Looking back at the past one year, I'm thankful that I've matured in my walk with God. So thankful for pastors and leaders for working so hard to build the church just so that people like me can experience the love of God. So thankful for the church and my trench buddies for always looking out for me, doing crazy things together with me, and fighting alongside me.

So so so excited for the future!

Jermia hopped off at 22:49

Tuesday, 3 June 2014

So bored and feeling really lousy now but I can't play on the guitar cos the bro has an exam tomorrow. Shan't let negative emotions get the better of me. Shall blog about the exciting things I've been doing this long holiday! :D

YES I AM LEARNING TO PLAY THE GUITAR!!! 8D Before joining SOM I thought playing on the guitar is easy, just need to press here strum there. But nooooo watching people play is a totally different thing from really playing on the guitar yourself. We have to press the strings with the tips of our fingers and when we practise long enough in the right way, it's super painful and the skin starts to peel. Switching between the chords needs a great deal of practice too. Hahaha still need to practise a lot to take away those awkward pauses that stop me from singing along to the songs :P In an attempt to niao me for being a guitar noob, Amelia showed me videos of Sungha Jung playing on his guitar and ukelele. He's too high level :OO I am nowhere near there YET. I shall 一步一步爬上去 HAHAHA :P I LOVE THE GUITARRR thank you Xinning for lending me your guitar ^^ Thankful for a super nice and pro instructor who keeps encouraging me and believing that I can play the guitar well. He doesn't scold me when it's obvious that I didn't practise enough and when I didn't get my capo for last week's lesson. So so thankful because I already felt very very bad. Because he's so nice it makes me feel like I need to be a good student by practising harder and playing the guitar well. I need to buy a guitar secretly when I get into uni. The mum just scolded yours truly for spending too much moneh D: Shall start saving up and get a good guitar so that I can play to my heart's content in uni! :DD

AND LOVEOTHERS14!!! We really live among heroes with hearts for other people. Kept checking the hashtag on Instagram and Twitter and was so touched by the stories ;D One of them was about a connect group giving out packets of oreos with notes on them to strangers in an mrt station. A man received it and told them "You have no idea how much this means to me. I just got fired from my job today." Another person loved his/her neighbours by putting snacks with notes on them in every one of their mailboxes. A passerby was so touched she took a picture of it and that picture appeared on lianhewanbao, The Straits Times, SGAG and even STOMP! Hahaha :D Many people upon receiving the snacks decided to pay it forward by continuing to spread the love out of their own initiatives. Really glad that we succeeded in promoting a spirit of selflessness, love and giving to others :)

I played my part to loveothers14 too! Hahahaha folded origami hearts with Chunshan and we wrote notes on them before going for a funfair. A girl whom we gave the heart to took a picture of it and posted it on instagram! ^^ Was so so happy. Started this thinking that what I did would brighten the days of other people, but in the end I think the happiness I got from this is way greater :) Love doing life with CS! Thank you for jio-ing me along ;D

After that CS and I along with Erntian went back to help C and C with the packing of their snacks. They are super powerful! Two of them pledging to love 2000 in the school with snacks (Y) Love it even more that throughout the whole process of loving others they insisted on remaining anonymous. And that's really the spirit of giving that so many of our unsung heroes have. We love not because we have ulterior motives. Love needs no reason.

The three of us went with Xinning to a coffee shop to have lunch. There we saw an uncle playing on his flute. Xinning's heart went to him and she gave him a packet of snacks with a note on it along with some money. The uncle was surprised and touched when he read the note, and after that he stopped and played on his flute for us for a while, before moving to the other tables. Was so touched and blessed by the tune he played. Will remember this in my heart and am inspired to keep loving and keep giving :)

Jermia hopped off at 01:57

Tuesday, 29 April 2014

Utterly disgusted after listening to a friend's experience in a local university interview. After a group case discussion, the interviewers actually asked each of them to name a person whom they think is the weakest. What kind of message is the university trying to convey to its interviewees? That in order to achieve success you'll have to trample others, put down others to bring yourself up. Choosing the best candidate for the scholarship at the expense of mocking the ones they perceive to be 'weaker' and trampling on their pride. And that is what happened to one interviewee when nearly everyone in the group except for one person arrowed and attacked her. And I begin to ask myself the significance behind asking this question. Maybe that university hopes to sieve out mature thinkers that will give exceptional and thoughtful answers, answers that hopefully do not put others down. But that said, the university would have expected that by asking this question, many people will turn to attacking others and the ones being attacked will be hurt. Talking about community service being one of the core values when they don't treat people right in interviews.

Or maybe the university wants to show its interviewees the 'harsh side of society', that people must learn to accept criticisms and learn from them instead of being defeated and feeling rejected. However, how fair is it to judge the capabilities of a person in less than a day, much less within the span of a single group interview? What right does a university have to subject a person to judgments, criticisms and even humiliations from a group of strangers that do not even know that person well? Yes, criticisms are common in the workplace. But a person in the workplace does not get judged within a day of entering an organisation, his abilities are judged by the works he has done and not done, within a reasonable period of time that allows his colleagues to understand the kind of person he is. Therefore, the argument that the university is trying to reflect the realities of the workplace is not justified because the conditions are not comparable and it is not fair.

If there exists the tiniest and slightest possibility that the university asked this question out of a sincere desire for the 'weakest' candidate(s) to reflect on their weaknesses and improve on them, they should have asked the candidates to voice out the weaknesses of everyone in the group. Nobody is perfect and everybody has something to be improved on. Be it a lack of confidence or excessive arrogance, both traits have to be corrected.

The importance of questions asked in a university interview cannot be underestimated. It reflects the things that the university values and it can also reflect the culture and beliefs of a university. I went for a scholarship interview of another university a while ago and the question they asked me was cliche but left a very deep impression on me. The professors asked me what are the things I can contribute to the university and the students there. After I answered the question, they told me they believe that helping and sharing with my peers is what will make my learning in the university an enriching and fulfilling one. And that fond memories can be created from forging strong bonds with my peers. From the interview, I knew that what the university looks out for in its scholars is not how exceptionally smart or how very confident you are, but more than that they want scholars that have a heart to share with their peers and a desire to create a more positive learning environment in the university. And I now look forward to entering a school with people, although not everyone, who are willing to support and teach one another, which is so very important because no man is an island. We learn more when we learn together. Therefore it makes me so very sad and disgusted because by asking its interviewees to pinpoint someone whom they think is weak, what does this question reflect on the university and its school culture? Will it be one that leaves the weakest behind, one that believes in the survival of the fittest? Its senior SCHOLARS that asked this question, why didn't they pause the interview and provide another point of view when they witnessed everybody arrowing the poor girl who has her own strengths that should be mentioned too? By conferring this group of senseless people the title of a scholar, what does it say about the university's definition of a successful student? What are the traits the university hopes to inculcate in its students? I do hope that they are not producing "confident, outspoken, and straightforward" students that climb up the corporate ladder by backstabbing and putting others down.

By asking that question in a group interview where everybody fights to speak just for the sake of speaking, it is inevitable that the soft-spoken and the introverts will be attacked. But what's wrong with being an introvert who can do great things? JK Rowling, Bill Gates, Albert Einstein and Warren Buffet are examples of introverts who have impacted many people across the world with their capabilities and great ideas. Although words are powerful, they have to be put into actions for great contributions and changes to be made. If a person is confident but is without complementing capabilities, that becomes arrogance. The words of that person is so senseless and useless that they might as well have not been spoken at all. It is super sad if a person reaches the end of his life and looks back to the realisation that he had just been a woodpecker all of his life, just making noise but not doing anything meaningful or significant. Introverts have their own strengths, and they can do great things. Introverts can be confident too. I have a friend who is an introvert, and I have to admit that she knows better than me when to speak and when not to speak. Therefore, being introverted is a trait that we should never put down.

I also wonder why the interviewers did not ask the candidates to discuss the strengths of others, when they asked for the weaknesses. Why are the interviewers so focused on asking for weaknesses? I think the question reflects the mentality of the scholars to some extent at least. A school shouldn't be one that goes around digging the weakness of its students and correcting them, although yes it is important. But what is more important is to discover and develop the potential and strengths of their students, because those are traits and skills that are unique to individuals and are what will help them succeed in their workplaces in the future. An organisation thrives not by constantly correcting its employees and shape them to become their 'ideal workers' that are all the same. A successful organisation recognises that each employee is different and has his own strengths and set of skills that he can contribute to the organisation in a unique way. A school should teach its students to look for and appreciate the strength of others, instead of whipping those whom they deem are not as capable or do not fit into their perception of a person destined for success.

Perhaps the whole point of this interview is to show the students a glimpse of how harsh the society and the workplace is. Maybe it is meant as a wake up call for students to put on their armors and shields against back stabs and office politics etc. But how the workplace is like in the future depends on the values the institutions and universities are inculcating in their students now. If a university is so caught in the frenzy of preventing back stabs, putting down others, exalting themselves, not appreciating others, saving their own butts etc, the students they produce will just make the workplace a sadder and more tiring place to be in, and the society a harsher one.

I was thinking, if I had the chance to go for that university's interview and if I were given that exact same question, I would just answer them straight in the face, "You know what? Out of the four local universities, I think your university is the weakest."

Jermia hopped off at 01:09